On Witness and Wicked
Becoming Reverend Beloved and Bearing Wicked Witness
Dear ones,
A month ago yesterday, I was ordained into the work of gospel ministry alongside four others. All of us are under thirty-five, Black, and women. We are artists, curators, scholars, siblings, aunties, and survivors. Some of us are neurodivergent, queer, and disabled.
Together and apart, we bear a wicked kind of witness.
Photo: The Good Steward Productions, Double Love Experience Church
In the month since my ordination, our nation elected a known assailant to its highest office, denying an overly qualified (albeit problematic in her own way) Black woman the post.
Wicked.
A healthcare practitioner denied me a necessary mental health treatment because (according to her) I was “hostile” and had a “tone”.
Wicked.
A few days ago, I went to see Wicked. I must admit that I had not interacted with the play or book before seeing the film. The whole thing blessed my soul, most especially the awkward, bullied Black girl in me who often thinks that every terrible thing that happens is her fault (more on that soon). To conjure Ancestor Shange, Wicked sings a “black girl’s song”.
Photo: Screen Rant
In a powerful moment of witness-bearing, Elphaba says to the Wizard of Oz, “You have no real power.” Though labeled as wicked herself, we see Elphaba respond to the true wickedness of the Wizard. She not only proclaims her truth but refuses to be lured into the perceived luxuries of power and status offered to her by the Wizard.
Wicked witness.
On election day, I posted a video from my ordination where we were turning around to Fred Hammond’s “We’re Blessed” during worship. During a spirited reprise of the song, one of my pastor’s called to our memory portions of Jesus’ mama’s words:
And Mary said,
“My soul magnifies the Lord,
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for God has looked with favor on the lowliness of the Almighty’s servant.
Surely, from now on all generations will call me blessed;
for the Mighty One has done great things for me,
and holy is God’s name.
God’s mercy is for those who fear God
from generation to generation.
God has shown strength with God’s arm;
God has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts.
God has brought down the powerful from their thrones,
and lifted up the lowly;
God has filled the hungry with good things,
and sent the rich away empty.
God has helped servant Israel,
in remembrance of God’s mercy,
according to the promise God made to our ancestors,
to Abraham and to his descendants forever.Luke 1:46-55
Elphaba and Mary are modeling for us wicked witness-bearing from unlikely places.
Wicked as in fierce, subversive, up from the margins.
Elphaba, scorned and rejected, finds herself in the face of deception, decoyed as a dream, and bears wicked witness.
Mary, in the infantile stages of unplanned pregnancy, bears a wicked witness.
On November 2, 2024, I said yes to witnessing, no matter how wicked it gets. I said yes to bearing wicked witness for a good, kind, and expansive God. God, my therapist, and the ancestors made it abundantly clear to me in the process that I couldn’t bear wicked witness trying to be somebody else. So, ordination is the first thing in my life that I have stepped into fully as myself.
Things around here are shifting. I shaved the sides of my head and dyed my hair. I am almost entirely off my social media. I will spend the rest of the winter intensely caring for myself and my loved ones, finishing a Tantra training, and attempting to recover from a wicked year. I will write here when I can, as I am committed to more of my words being in the world.
It feels hard to bear witness right now. Yet we are surrounded by witnesses, both living and ancestors, who help us run the race. The writer of Hebrews puts it this way:
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us"
Hebrews 12:1
May we all find what and who we need to help us bear a wicked witness.
With love,
Reverend Beloved (aka Brittany)
P.S.- Today is Giving Tuesday, and many causes will plead for your much-needed financial support. I have a love-hate relationship with Giving Tuesday because, on the one hand, it too is a product of the capitalist regime we find ourselves under on our way to the new world. If you have something to give or share today, I invite you to consider the following causes dear to my heart. Of note, these are not nonprofits (intentionally).